Disrespect is the New Chivalry

- Alana Germany

When I began work on my story, “Disrespect is the New Chivalry” the “new” approach to courtship was really starting to bother me. I would be walking down the street or through the BART train station and “Hey lil’ mama!"'s would come out of nowhere. One time, when I was walking home by myself, two young guys ended up walking a couple blocks behind me. The entire time they were behind me they shouted, “Yiiiiiiiiiiii Yiiiiiiiiiii,” trying to get my attention. Even though I knew “Yii” was signature slang in my hometown of Richmond, California, I’d never hear it used as a mating call. I mean, when did the standard “Excuse me Miss” become “Ay bay-bay” or “Hey, sexy,” and now “Yii”?

Writing this story inspired me to talk to my mother and a few other elders in my community. Hearing about how boys used to approach dating, I felt even more annoyed with my male peers. My mom told me stories about how her date would have to come inside the house and meet the entire family. When addressing the parents, it was all “yes ma’am, yes sir.” If the parents didn’t approve of the boy, my mom wouldn’t go out with him. It may still be like that in some towns, but that isn’t the case here in the Bay Area. Now anything goes.

Our generation needs to raise its standards. But that won’t happen unless we are taught to. I was taught to maintain high standards, but my mother is over 50 and she raised me based on the standards of her time. For the young mothers having babies at 15 and 16, this is their time. If this culture of disrespect is all they know, they won’t teach their children any different, and they cycle will continue. Writing this piece was my way of calling out for help, and trying to end the destructive pattern so many teens have become accustomed to.

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